Note to all Brothers: Don’t Sign Up to Be a Baby’s Daddy – Child Support Will Leave You Broke

Do you ever wonder about those guys who have several kids with several women and then whine about how much they’re paying every month in child support? Were they thinking about these things when they were running from one woman to the next looking for sex?  What about those women who let a man into their homes knowing that he’s no good and then get angry because he’s a deadbeat dad?  Since a lot of these people are young, we can give them a bit of a pass.  But if any of them are listening now, a recent speech by Dr. Boyce Watkins provides some insights on why these young people might want to think twice between taking a trip down Baby Daddy Lane.

The transcript of Dr. Watkins’ remarks, which were given to black men in a recent speech, are below.  But this can be applied to your relatives or the baby mamas in your life, since it usually takes two people to make a child.

(This is a transcript from a video, so some words may not come out clearly)

 Hi I’m Dr. Boyce Watkins from YourBlackWorld.com. I appreciate every one of you.   I wanted to have a quick conversation and actually share something that just came to mind.  Anybody who knows anything about what I do, you know that whenever I have a thought I share it.  The reason I share it is because I believe when you get education, it’s your job to share that education to people you care about.  So, I care about you therefore I’m doing my brain drain onto you to  share these ideas with you. 

Now, this is mainly for the brothers, but not just for the brothers.  Most of us know brothers that this advice would apply to so I encourage you to be an evangelist for truth and empowerment and take this message to the people that you love.  One of the things I’ve noticed is that the easiest way for a black man to go broke is from child support or from poor family planning if you wanna call it that. 

Now, poor family planning usually starts with poor s*xual planning.  It’s unfortunate, because sometimes if you go places and you see brothers just out there doing nothing:  Some of us don’t have much education, don’t really have any goals, don’t really have any work ethic., don’t like going to school like Smokey in the movie Friday, who sat on the porch and smoked weed every day,

It’s interesting to me because a lot of these brothers unfortunately will also make time for women, since men always make time for women.  And when you’re making time for women, sleeping with women, something happens:  These things come out called “babies,” and these babies come because you have sex and the egg was fertilized and all the other stuff. 

Now, I’m not here to judge whether babies are a good or bad thing, because I think every child is a blessing in the right context.  But, here’s the situation:   you see where a lot of men don’t think about the kids that they’re having, they don’t think about creating a stable family environment for their child, they don’t think about managing their child rearing outcomes in a way that’s going to be productive for them in the long term. 

Number one, you know child support is a beast!   You end up in child support court, you’ve got three or four women pulling all your money, you can’t get ahead financially because with every job you get, you end up having to pay out a big chunk your pay check.  Then you compare that to the fact that so many brothers out here have no education, no wealth building skill, no goal setting ability, nothing.  This makes the situation even worse, since they’ve effectively marginalized themselves in some cases where they would simply hide from the child support authorities.

 I was recently talking to one of the kids I mentor who has three “baby-daddies;” none of them are paying child support and all of them are hiding from the cops.  So, it’s a lose – lose: the kids are losing because the kids’ fathers are not around, the mothers lose because she’s not getting any help, and the fathers are losing because when the authorities catch up with them, they’re going down, they might go to jail they will definitely end up broke. 

When you have kids at an early age, you can’t necessarily move forward as easily later on.  You might decide “Oh now I’m ready to get married and have a family,” but guess what?   You still have obligations from previous relationships that you have to fulfill financially, and that can be a BEAST. 

Some guys can’t pay child support because the more money you make the more money they take.  Now I’m not here speaking as a beacon of perfection.  I’m actually speaking from a point of experience.  I have paid child support, I had a child when I was eighteen.  I love her to death, but it was not something that I would do over again, if I had that choice, since I paid a huge price both financially and in terms of my relationship with my daughter. 

I paid child support for eighteen years and I feel like I paid literally enough money to fund NASA for couple of years.  They could probably send a man to the moon and back with all the money I paid to child support.  So, I know what I’m talking about here, and what I’m saying to the brothers out here is to think about what you’re doing with your body, think about who you sleep with.  If a woman is not cut out to be a good mother to your children, then don’t sleep with her.

 Also, when you get out there and have s*x, be sure to wrap it up.  Think carefully about whether or not you want to have children and then when you have those children, take care of those kids because in addition to the financial struggles and all these other things, when you’re not minding your child’s life, your child labels you as a bad parent and that becomes even more stressful on you. 

So, it’s a tough process and I encourage men to really think it through.  I also ask you to encourage other men to think that through their decisions and to let these brothers know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.  Having a bunch of kids with bunch of women when you ain’t got no job is flat-out trifling, and entirely unacceptable, so nip it in the bud.   That’s all I’ve got to say, I’m Dr. Boyce Watkins YourBlackWorld.com.  I’m gone.  Peace.

End of transcript

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6 Responses to Note to all Brothers: Don’t Sign Up to Be a Baby’s Daddy – Child Support Will Leave You Broke

  1. Derrick December 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    “Child Support Will Leave You Broke”
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    JUST DON’T HAVE BABIES UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED!!!

    Of course there’s the chance of getting a divorce when a child may be young, then you do have the responsibility to take care of the child, until it reaches 18. But, the child should receive the money; not the mother. There are mothers, who take child support payments and buy new cars, clothes and party, while the child suffers.

    THESE ARE FACTS! You have some no-good mammy’s out here too! It’s a two way street. If you can pay your support instead of going through a racist court system, then you and that woman should work things out that way. Put up a trust or school fund for the child. If the child wants to go to college; the money is there; if not, then they should do what they please with the money. If they fvck it up; that’s on them!

    I knew a brother, who could not work, and was waiting for his benefits, but the cracker judge gave him 6 months for non-support. After he served his 6 months, the judge told him to find a job in 30 days. Remember, this brother could not work because he was injured in an accident and broke his back. He could not get a job, and would lose his benefits, if he started working; therefore, he didn’t get a job. The judge gave him ANOTHER 6 months in jail, then put him on probabtion for 5 years just because he could not find a job or pay child support!!!

    AIN’T THAT A BYTCH?

    He got more time on probabtion than a murderer!!! The child support system is the new plantation. It’s a 5th degree felony, and once a white employer sees the word ‘felony’ on an application…it’s all over!

    This is a plan by the court system to keep Black men from getting jobs. Once they have a felony conviction of any kind, they will not get hired. Then, they have no choice, but to take to the streets to make a living. It’s the revolving door effect…in and out of jail/prison.

    I feel, if a woman makes a lot of money, and a man can’t work do to restrictions, then he should not be put in jail for child support. How can he pay support behind bars; while getting a record? IT’S SENSELESS!!!

    A man should not have to use his whole paycheck up for child support, either. He has to live also! They take too much money out of a man’s paycheck for him to survive. This is also a plan by the court system. They want to keep the Black man down and broke!!!

    I SAY TO HELL WITH CHILD SUPPORT; IF A WOMAN LAYS WITH A NO GOOD MAN, THEN IT’S ON HER IF SHE HAS A BABY!!!

    IF A MAN LAYS WITH A NO GOOD WOMAN; THEN IT’S ON HIM TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT!!!

    Johnny Taylor use to say: ‘IT’S CHEAPER TO KEEP HER’

    Reply
  2. Ms. Miller December 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Everyone should think about it long and hard before having a baby…especially if money is a problem. Sadly, there are tooooo many deadbeat dads running around…and who takes care of those children that they make? ….the State?…the mothers? In most cases it is the woman…and sometimes she has to get help …like food stamps.

    I have no sympathy for “brothas” who make babies and don’t hold up their end and support their kids. NONE. Most women and children (where the father is absent) live in poverty. So it’s time to step up and pay…or find another way….but don’t complain about taking care of children that you make.

    Reply
  3. Elem December 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Child support is fascism. Another name for it would be divide and conquer.

    I shake my head at people who are conditioned to “fit in”, particularly those from poorer backgrounds. They spend their lives trying to fit in into a mainstream mindset instead of accepting themselves “as is” and working together.

    Together we stand, divided we fall.

    All children are blessings from God, we must be prepared to make sacrifices for them to the very end.

    Reply
  4. Elaine December 20, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Only thing I can say the little angel in this picture is so beautiful:) She is just too cute:) Sorry it goes both ways and there are some dead beat mothers out there too! I’m just “SAYING” Happy Holidays everyone love you:)

    Reply
  5. J. D. Hill December 21, 2012 at 1:50 am

    Child support: it’s the non-custodial parent’s share of the cost of housing, feeding, clothing, entertaining, and supervising the health, education, and general welfare of a child. In fact, for most folk child support is a bargain, because the payor does not have the full-time responsiblity of caring for a kid 24/7.

    None of us should dig holes that others will have to fill. We must count the high and regrettable costs before starting a fragmented and dysfunctional family. These babies who are products of our recreation grow up, having compassion or resentment and anger toward one or both biological parents.

    And it’s true: “You reap what you sow!”

    Reply
  6. satch May 8, 2013 at 12:16 am

    Everyone should think about it long and hard before having a baby…especially if money is a problem. Sadly, there are tooooo many deadbeat dads running around…and who takes care of those children that they make? ….the State?…the mothers? In most cases it is the woman…and sometimes she has to get help …like food stamps.

    I have no sympathy for “brothas” who make babies and don’t hold up their end and support their kids. NONE. Most women and children (where the father is absent) live in poverty. So it’s time to step up and pay…or find another way….but don’t complain about taking care of children that you make.

    lol at this too many times the sisters pick the worst guys around they cry later after they dogged out guys who may have been the right one for them. first they want pretty ,next thug or sugar daddy then at 35 yrs old they looking for the good guy with a job and start saying no good guys out here. got kids and often same nasty, arrogant attitudes they had at 25. I will be real I have lived in 7 cities in usa it is easier to talk to white women than our own women. our women do not want to talk until they are old about 40 yrs old and up, all of them will talk then.they can see you on high powered jobs and still not speak but muffie will

    Reply

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