Note to all Brothers: Don’t Sign Up to Be a Baby’s Daddy – Child Support Will Leave You Broke
Do you ever wonder about those guys who have several kids with several women and then whine about how much they’re paying every month in child support? Were they thinking about these things when they were running from one woman to the next looking for s*x? What about those women who let a man into their homes knowing that he’s no good and then get angry because he’s a deadbeat dad? Since a lot of these people are young, we can give them a bit of a pass. But if any of them are listening now, a recent speech by Dr. Boyce Watkins provides some insights on why these young people might want to think twice between taking a trip down Baby Daddy Lane.
The transcript of Dr. Watkins’ remarks, which were given to black men in a recent speech, are below. But this can be applied to your relatives or the baby mamas in your life, since it usually takes two people to make a child.
(This is a transcript from a video, so some words may not come out clearly)
Hi I’m Dr. Boyce Watkins from YourBlackWorld.com. I appreciate every one of you. I wanted to have a quick conversation and actually share something that just came to mind. Anybody who knows anything about what I do, you know that whenever I have a thought I share it. The reason I share it is because I believe when you get education, it’s your job to share that education to people you care about. So, I care about you therefore I’m doing my brain drain onto you to share these ideas with you.
Now, this is mainly for the brothers, but not just for the brothers. Most of us know brothers that this advice would apply to so I encourage you to be an evangelist for truth and empowerment and take this message to the people that you love. One of the things I’ve noticed is that the easiest way for a black man to go broke is from child support or from poor family planning if you wanna call it that.
Now, poor family planning usually starts with poor s*xual planning. It’s unfortunate, because sometimes if you go places and you see brothers just out there doing nothing: Some of us don’t have much education, don’t really have any goals, don’t really have any work ethic., don’t like going to school like Smokey in the movie Friday, who sat on the porch and smoked weed every day,
It’s interesting to me because a lot of these brothers unfortunately will also make time for women, since men always make time for women. And when you’re making time for women, sleeping with women, something happens: These things come out called “babies,” and these babies come because you have s*x and the egg was fertilized and all the other stuff.
Now, I’m not here to judge whether babies are a good or bad thing, because I think every child is a blessing in the right context. But, here’s the situation: you see where a lot of men don’t think about the kids that they’re having, they don’t think about creating a stable family environment for their child, they don’t think about managing their child rearing outcomes in a way that’s going to be productive for them in the long term.
Number one, you know child support is a beast! You end up in child support court, you’ve got three or four women pulling all your money, you can’t get ahead financially because with every job you get, you end up having to pay out a big chunk your pay check. Then you compare that to the fact that so many brothers out here have no education, no wealth building skill, no goal setting ability, nothing. This makes the situation even worse, since they’ve effectively marginalized themselves in some cases where they would simply hide from the child support authorities.
I was recently talking to one of the kids I mentor who has three “baby-daddies;” none of them are paying child support and all of them are hiding from the cops. So, it’s a lose – lose: the kids are losing because the kids’ fathers are not around, the mothers lose because she’s not getting any help, and the fathers are losing because when the authorities catch up with them, they’re going down, they might go to jail they will definitely end up broke.
When you have kids at an early age, you can’t necessarily move forward as easily later on. You might decide “Oh now I’m ready to get married and have a family,” but guess what? You still have obligations from previous relationships that you have to fulfill financially, and that can be a BEAST.
Some guys can’t pay child support because the more money you make the more money they take. Now I’m not here speaking as a beacon of perfection. I’m actually speaking from a point of experience. I have paid child support, I had a child when I was eighteen. I love her to death, but it was not something that I would do over again, if I had that choice, since I paid a huge price both financially and in terms of my relationship with my daughter.
I paid child support for eighteen years and I feel like I paid literally enough money to fund NASA for couple of years. They could probably send a man to the moon and back with all the money I paid to child support. So, I know what I’m talking about here, and what I’m saying to the brothers out here is to think about what you’re doing with your body, think about who you sleep with. If a woman is not cut out to be a good mother to your children, then don’t sleep with her.
Also, when you get out there and have s*x, be sure to wrap it up. Think carefully about whether or not you want to have children and then when you have those children, take care of those kids because in addition to the financial struggles and all these other things, when you’re not minding your child’s life, your child labels you as a bad parent and that becomes even more stressful on you.
So, it’s a tough process and I encourage men to really think it through. I also ask you to encourage other men to think that through their decisions and to let these brothers know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. Having a bunch of kids with bunch of women when you ain’t got no job is flat-out trifling, and entirely unacceptable, so nip it in the bud. That’s all I’ve got to say, I’m Dr. Boyce Watkins YourBlackWorld.com. I’m gone. Peace.
End of transcript
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