Dr. Boyce: The Taming of the Basketball Baby Mamas
By Dr. Boyce Watkins
Some very strange things happened in my life this week, things that turned my whole world upside down. It was a time when wrong became right and the sun revolved around the moon in a counter clockwise fashion. It was a week when the Basketball Wives actually decided to act like they’ve got some d**n sense and I just didn’t understand it.
The week started with Basketball Wives Executive Producer Shaunie O’neal admitting that the next installment of the show isn’t going to consist of as much fighting as there has been in the past. This was a shocking thing to hear from the woman who has been laughing all the way to the bank as other women of color make absolute fools out of themselves. Shaunie is the ultimate businesswoman, so to hear that she was walking away from her cash cow of violence told me that something might be up.
Then, there were the ever-so-reflective remarks by the deeply bitter Tami Roman, who said that she has deleted her Twitter account so that she doesn’t have to wake up and deal with negativity every day. Tami swears she’s not a bully and that she is simply a product of abusive experiences in her own past.
Sorry, Tami, but every bully says this.
The truth is that every murderer, rapist, and child molester usually has a terrible story to tell about how their own abuse fueled their desire to hurt others. Not that we shouldn’t have empathy, but perhaps those of us who are encouraged to continue the cycle of abuse need to seek productive psychotherapy instead.
Finally, there is the “amazing” Evelyn Lozada, who made remarks about how she has become reflective of her behavior on television.
I am not sure how deep those reflections went, for I am sure that she was only reflecting on how empty her bank account will be if she continues down the road of unpopularity.
The fact is that all of this reflection, contemplation and deep revelation by the Basketball Baby Mamas (almost none of them were actually married to any athlete, making them either groupies, ex-girlfriends, or child support recipients) is likely due to the financial pressure of losing corporate sponsors because of the activity on their show.
The world has stood up to the bullies of reality TV and told them that they aren’t going to take it anymore. A petition started on Change.org led the way, and people around the country have let corporate sponsors know that they are not interested in supporting companies that finance a show that teaches young girls how to bully one another at school. Beyond this, there is the constant struggle for women of color to overcome their own negative images in media, and this challenge doesn’t get easier when women are signing up to behave like angry football players.
The calming of the Basketball Baby Mamas is a lesson for both the bullies on this show and for the rest of us. It says that if we want something to change, we should demand it. It also says that if we want a better future for our children, we must fight for it. It’s time to rise above this psychological poison.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University and author of the forthcoming book, “The RAPP Sheet: Rising Above Psychological Poison.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.
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BBW is crazy, I was lookin forward to seeing successful Woman of Color show us how they can walk in an establishment & men bowing to them while making sure their needs are admiritally met. But this is All y’all got a bunch of fools.
Boyce, by what standard do you measure Shaunie being the ultimate business woman? No more BBW, Boycott! Boycott! Boycott!
Forget trying to change the show, JUST GET THESE TRAMPS OFF THE AIR!
What a fine example these woman are setting… them as black women are exposing ourselves….. there are so many ways to show positivity and have a fun show, as oppose to showing the ghetto they come from. Fine example Tami, you work with young ladies and for you to act like you did what a fine example you are showing……what a role model…stop blaming it on the way you grew up…..as they say you can never take the ghetto out of the woman and you are proof of that….bully.
I just wish they take the show off the air the reason I watch the show because I thought that it would be a show of woman doing something positive and i always felt a certain amount of respect for Shaunie and thought she would continue to impower woman and for the thing that she allows make me she her in a whole knew light
I had felt bad for tami and her pain from early years and it was nice to see her get profession help,but the way she bullied keisha was a hard thing to see. she has talked about some of the girls behind there backs. What makes her so special,they about jesus but he turned the other cheek. Tami treat people the way you want to be treated. Grow-Up and show respect for all women. It would be nice to hear something out of your mouth besides b***h,b***h,b***h!!!!!!!!!!! this is not good for you or your Image,I wish you the best in the future for yourself and your family. BE BLESSED!!!!!!!
Shaunie is as much of a business woman as Don Magic Juan is a business man!! She is just as much to blame as the trash she so openly and willing displays on her show!!
I use to like this show when it first aired, even though no one was still a wife, had never been or just wanted to be really bad. The show has absolutely gone to the gutter now. You women are a disgrace to women of color, with your facy cars and clothes. I guess you women see now that those things don’t make up who you really are. Ms Shaunie, you can laugh all the way to the bank at the expense of these other moorans on your show but you will feel some of the brunt of what’s been happening on your show as well. You women should be ashamed of yourselves. Your children should be ashamed of you. I know that they see some of this
trash. You women really need to stop blaming this trash on your past and deal with that and grow up before you end up scarring your own children, if you haven’t already.
what’s wrong tami? you can dish it out but you can’t take it? evelyn you are just as awful !!!!!!!
yes this show need to go off air cause those girls who so call themself ladies like( shanie, suzi,tamie,everlyn)
Evelyn, Suzie,Tammi, you three women make this show shameful. It captivates whom you really are and as America sees you. Evelyn,
belongs in the zoo because anyone that jumps on the table and run and trying to slapppp someone because truth is she is jealous of Jenn and we all know it by her actions.. Evelyn my neice knows your daughter. Your daughter is so ashame of you and your actions. All the teens in college think of you as the biggest w***e in America on TV. You are a bad influence on TV Evelyn.Having a threesome with future husband Chokehoe is a bad influence on teens or young women who actually watch this mess. And talk about it. The salons talk about your behavior in America as disgusting. Shaunie O’neal if these fools want you to betray them like you do then continue to do so. But they are the worst women on all reality shows that do what they do. Bulllying people Tami and Evelyn make you less women of poor taste. Tami I wish I ncould meet you in a back alley you’ll get the best beat down you ever had. No wonder that fine ex husband left you for another woman. You are third level trash. VH1 you ought to have your network pulled off the air for letting O’Neal having these 3 hoodrats on public TV. Suzie is the type to get someone hurt or killed cause she is the biggest snitch in America.She’s bad blood.
Of all the women Evelyn is the worst. I’m praying for her because of her daughter. The things the public hear about Evelyn is awful..
They all need prayer prayer changes things and people. Well , LORD please help all these women to get save by the power and blood of JESUS CHRIST before something happen to them .They are playing with fire amongest one another. And the devil is busy
and having a field day with these unsaved not Godly women. Heaven help them all.
BIG MAMA
Big MaMa you said it all. I as a black woman feel disgraced at the action of these women. They act like animals. Jen i know that Evelyn is jealous of you. i hope you don’t disgrace yourself anymore by stooping to her stupidity. You women need to be saved. I looked at single Ladies last night for the first time,i don’t like the show but you all can learn some integrity and class from these Ladies. Suzie the MESS maker,i bet you enjoy doing that don’t you.WAKE UP, we are getting closer to the END than we think……….
I discovered this show in 2011 in a hotel room while surfing cable stations. They were in Spain, and since I’d had a wonderful vacation in Spain w/3 girlfriends, I thought it woud be fun to watch. They didn’t do the things my friends and I did. We went to museums, castles, shopping, took the bullet train to Seville, etc., and yes to restaurants, but we can do restaurants at home. I liked Royce. I saw one other show. This year i saw 1-2 shows, but realize this is not the kind of trash I want to see. Well I read about the mess and am shamed to admit I decided to go online to see a show. The timing was very bad. My college student relative was here when I suggested it. She has a crush on a professional b’baller and I wanted her to see some of the life of groupies, bitter ex’es, etc. She knew about BBW and said “I’m shocked YOU would look at such ghetto trash!!”. We looked and it was the Tami bullying of Keisha incident. We were both very upset. I’m so sorry that I picked that episode to watch.
Shaunie had the most to lose, though she wins/won at the bank. Girl, your reputation is gone. No one respects you now. You watched in silence, you participated, you allowed, you played fav’s w/Evil-lyn and Tyrant-mi. Now, you want to act innocent.
Commerial sponsors: bow out!!! If Vh1 wants to exploit us like this, don’t be a part of it. And, from now on when I’m in a hotel on a Monday night, I won’t be watching…
My analysis (though I’ve only seen a few episodes): A disgusting, classless, ghetto-laden show.
SHAUNIE is weak, and ambivalent.
EVIL-LYN has anger issues, residual ghetto, but somehow I believe she has a good heart. I think she loves Jenn and is very hurt by whatever Jenn did. Instead of simply saying that, her anger ruled and it’s been ugly ever since. In a way I wish they could repair it, but I don’t blame Jenn for being through–who wants to be best buds with someone who jumps over tables/counters, throws full wine bottles in a public restaurant, etc. If they make up, they can never be the same.
SUZI: a huge problem/liability. Insecure, irrelevant.
JENN: Didn’t see enough to know about her, but somehow I don’t like her. However, I admire that she has refused to be part of the ugly drama in this season. And maybe she should sue Nia on national TV–Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown’s Bad Girls, I’m glad she’s going on with her life in positive directions, but believe me she’s hurt by the Ev situation.
TAMI: Needs serious psychological intervention. Actually, needs to be “delivered”. Should not go to another show in this condition. There is a factor called “Leaving and Entering”–the way one leaves a relationship, situation, group, etc. is the way one enters and reacts in the next one. She is not healed. It’s sad.
ROYCE: the best of the entire lot. Young, but has common sense and wisdom. And, she does more in life than simply sit around and sip alcohol, shop, or play dress-up. She has a life.
GO ROYCE!!!
This cast (at least Shaunie, Tami, Evelyn), should go on Dr. Drew, or Dr. Phil, or on a special with Oprah. Hopefully, Tami would not “go-off” when she’s shown to be soooo ghetto-crazy.